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Woman have to admit it. They actually don’t have absolute power. There’s one thing a man would prefer because of many reasons.

1. A beer won’t make you go to church.
2. A beer is more likely to know how to spell «carburetor» than a woman.
3. A beer doesn’t think baseball is stupid simply because the guys spit.
4. A beer doesn’t think DOS is pronounced «dose.»
5. A beer doesn’t give a [expletive deleted] if you keep a bunch of other beers around.

6. There is NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO reason number six.
7. A beer will not insist that those odious Michelin commercials with the babies are «cute.»
8. If a beer leaks all over the room, it smells kinda good for a while.
9. A beer will not call you a sexist pig if you say «doberman» instead of «doberperson.»
10. A beer won’t get a job as a DJ and play 5 straight hours of lesbian folk music on yer fave radio station.
11. A beer won’t claim that the Three Stooges are shitheads.
12. A beer won’t raise a fuss about a little thing like leaving the toilet seat up.
13. If you mention a «three-hundred-fifty cubic-inch V8» around a beer, it won’t think you’re talking about an enormous can of vegetable juice.
14. A beer won’t whine that seatbelts hurt.
15. A beer won’t smoke in your car.

16. A beer won’t argue that there’s no difference between shooting down an unidentified aircraft in a war zone and blowing a Korean airliner out of the sky.
17. A beer will never buy a car with automatic transmission.
18. A beer will actually support belching and farting and share yer enthusiasm for getting them included as demonstration sports in the 1992 Olympic Games in Barcelona.
19. A beer is always ready to leave on time.
20. A beer never fishes for compliments.
21. Some beers (e. g. St. Pauli Girl) have fabulous tits.
22. Beer tastes good.
23. If you take a beer outta the fridge just to look at it but then decide to drink it, the beer won’t accuse you of «date rape.»
24. A beer won’t raise any objections to an evening of watching «John Holmes’ Greatest Hits» on yer VCR.
25. An ice-cold beer will nonetheless let you have your way with it.
26. A beer won’t think the Circle Jerks are gross just because they’re called the Circle Jerks. (They are gross, but that’s not why).
27. A beer won’t make you pick up some tampons when you go to the grocery store.
28. A beer won’t accuse you of lying when you say you read Playboy «just for the articles.» (You are lying, but the beer won’t accuse you of it).
29. A beer won’t worry that you’ll go to jail if you videotape a Giants game without the expressed, written consent of the National Football League.
30. A beer won’t fill up your car with cheesy 85-octane gas with the excuse «but I saved a quarter!»
31. A beer will never make you go to a Swedish movie.
32. A beer will never make you turn off «Fists of Fury Theater» on channel 5 on Saturday afternoons.
33. A beer won’t accuse you of being a sexist pig if you say «Gene Hackman» instead of «Gene Hackperson.»
34. A beer won’t make you eat some experimental vegetarian meal that tastes like STP Oil Treatment.

Business studies professors still try to use traditional teaching methods even if they have to deal with complete blond dunces. Why don’t they explain at least key terms by referring to sexual life situations? Here are some examples.

At a party, you see a handsome guy. You approach him and say : «I’m really good in bed!».
This is direct marketing.

You came to a party with friends and see a handsome guy. One of the friends approached him and says: «She’s really good in bed.»
This is advertising.

At a party, you see a handsome guy. You stand up and put your dress in order. Then you come to him and ask: «Let me readjust your tie?». Accidentally you snuggle up to him and whisper: «I’m really good in bad».
This is PR.

At a party you see a handsome guy. By clever manipulation you make a quarrel among present girls. When they start to fight you call him : «Let’s get out of here! By the way, I’m really good in bed!»
This is black PR.

At a party you see several handsome guys. You write short letters to each of them «I’m really good in bad».
This is direct mail.

You come to a party. There are a lot of cool girls around. You say to a handsome guy: «I’m really good in bad and you don’t need to buy me a drink».
This is dumping.

At a party you make an announcement: «Who wish to know how good I’m in bad — follow me!»
This is positioning.

You didn’t come to a party, but everybody talks about how good you’re in bad.
This is a famous trademark.

You came to a party with friends and see a handsome guy. You come to him and say: «Hi I’m Jane». Everybody knows that Jane is really good in bad. You’re not Jane, but Jane knows you give yourself out to be here and she doesn’t mind because she gets something in exchange for it.
This is franchising.

You came to a party. You look great. You’re very sexy. You’re self-confident, but… all the guys with their wives.
This is market, baby…

You can buy «lifetime access» to multiple on-line TV channels including sports, movies and other entertanment. But if you not too lazy you’d better find out how to use it for free. It is so easy a child can do it.

There are sites which sell software for using on-line TV. It costs about $20. An offer may have slogans like «Major breakthrough!», «Pay TV doesn? t have to be expensive!», «Computer technology cuts cost dramatically!» etc.

Lots of advantages are described in comparison with satelite TV. Firstly, you don? t need any additional equipment, which is expensive. Secondly, you don? t have to be worried about delivery service. And the most inportant: you pay only once and get full access to the whole set of channels. No monthly fee or any recurring fees!

It’s all true but actually there is no need to buy software. You can download different appropriate softs from different sources for free. Free softs are called Tvants, Sopcast, TVUplaer, Real Player, UUSEE, PPstream, PPLIVE, TVKOO (ViviPlay), TVU Player, QQLive, MYSEE and so on.

Tastes differ, but Sopcast and PPmate seem to work better. When you are looking for a particulare sporting event, or movie or whatever you’d rather have several softs installed on you computer. If one soft does not provide access to a channel you need, another will certanly do.

You can watch best sporting events on-line without paying one cent. You can watch latest movies right after its release. It is all legal. It is all free. And if you were not too lazy to read this article, you probably will be able to find the soft, to install it and probably to connect PC to TV-set in order to watch all the channels on a big screen.

In “The Reaping,” Hilary Swank plays a former Christian missionary who lost her faith after her family was tragically killed, and has since become a world renowned expert in disproving religious phenomena. But when she investigates a small Louisiana town that is suffering from what appear to be the Biblical plagues, she realizes that science cannot explain what is happening and she must regain her faith to combat the dark forces threatening the community.

The world’s most famous – and Hollywood’s most pampered – pooch is separated from his owner and ends up as the mascot of a hapless fire station. There, he helps a 12-year-old boy and his father, a veteran fire chief, turn the station into the city’s finest.

Holland 1944 - The final years of the Second World War find the beautiful singer Rachel Stein (Carice Van Houten) taking refuge with the Tsjempkema family in rural Holland. Once a popular and wealthy singer, Rachel has been waiting out the war like many Jews in Europe, separated from her family and a moment away from being caught by the Gestapo. Her temporary safe-house is destroyed by an Allied bomber under fire by a German fighter and Rachel is left in the arms of Rob (Michel Huisman), a sympathetic young boy, who promises to help her to safety. The next morning, Rob takes Rachel to her contact in town, who she hopes will help her find her family and escape across into liberated territory.

They arrive at the home of Mr. Smaal (Dolf de Vries) and his wife (Diana Dobbleman), a compassionate lawyer who has worked secretly to help Jews escape from Holland. Reluctantly, Mr. Smaal arranges for Rachel to join her family and cross enemy lines into Allied territory, marking her name and rendez-vous point in a little black leather notebook. But during the dangerous crossing, the boat is ambushed by German troops. The Nazi’s ruthlessly kill the boats’ passengers and Rachel only narrowly escapes by jumping overboard into the river.

The next morning, Rachel is rescued by Gerben Kuipers, one of the leaders of the Dutch resistance. A kind and generous man, Kuipers offers Rachel a job and a safe place to stay. But embittered by the memory of the ruthless murder of her family, Rachel decides to become a resistance fighter to seek revenge against the Germans.

“Are We Done Yet?” is a follow-up to Revolution Studios’ hilarious 2005 family comedy “Are We There Yet?” and picks up where the last story left off. Now married to Suzanne (Nia Long), Nick Persons (Ice Cube) has bought a quiet suburban house to escape the rat race of the big city and to provide more space for his new wife and kids Lindsey and Kevin (Aleisha Allen and Philip Daniel Bolden). But when his new home quickly becomes a costly “fixer upper” and he finds himself at the mercy of an eccentric contractor (John C. McGinley), Nick’s suburban dream soon becomes a riotous nightmare.

In ten minutes, everything can change. For these ten people, it will. A jet-lagged Larry Taylor awakens to find two strangers in his bedroom, and over the next ten minutes, will experience the most terrifying - and possibly final - moments of his life. But who these strangers are, and whay they want, can only be determined by events occuring elsewhere, and at the same time. We relive those same ten minutes through the eyes of those connected to what is not a simple home invasion, and with each person, find ourselves propelled closer to the truth.

“Race You to the Bottom” centers around a beautifully complicated and heated love affair between two young 20-somethings: a straight woman and her best friend, a gay man. Starring young actors Cole Williams (”Harry and Max”) and Amber Benson (”Buffy the Vampire Slayer”) in career-making lead roles, “Race You to the Bottom” is a vibrant, sexy artistic achievement and a cultural milestone in reflecting a fast changing new world of fluid sexuality.

Propelled by the exhilaration of their six-month secret affair, gay Nathan and straight Maggie embark on a sun-drenched road trip through Napa Valley wine country, all the while leaving their respective boyfriends behind. The lovers try to define their relationship on their own terms: sensual, liberating and rebellious, but also one fraught with complications that they might not have the maturity to overcome.

The result is an unlikely love story with sharply drawn, intelligent and flawed characters. As these two hedonists tear through Northern California, the film reminds us of the glorious moments when romance seems to have no boundaries.

Lewis is an orphan who dreams of finding a family. His journey takes an unexpected turn when a mysterious stranger named Wilbur Robinson whisks him away to a world where anything is possible… THE FUTURE.

There, he meets an incredible assortment of characters and a family beyond his wildest imagination, The Robinsons, who help lead him on an amazing and hilarious adventure with heartfelt results.

Based upon the book “A Day with Wilbur Robinson” by William Joyce.

“The Lookout” marks Academy Award®-nominated screenwriter Scott Frank’s (”Out of Sight”), directorial debut. The intelligent crime drama is centered around Chris (Joseph Gordon-Levitt, “Mysterious Skin”), a once promising high school athlete whose life is turned upside down following a tragic accident. As he tries to maintain a normal life, he takes a job as a janitor at a bank where he ultimately finds himself caught up in a planned heist. The film also stars Jeff Daniels (”The Squid and the Whale”), Isla Fisher (”The Wedding Crashers”), Matthew Goode (”Match Point”) and Carla Gugino (”Night at the Museum”).

Taking its title from the state motto of New Hampshire, LIVE FREE OR DIE is a deadpan comedy about a clueless, aspiring criminal named John “Rugged” Rudgate (Aaron Stanford), who spends his days forging rebate coupons and selling speakers out the back of his van. One day, Rugged runs into an old acquaintance, the dim-witted Jeff Lagrand (Paul Schneider), who recently returned home to help his cynical sister (Zooey Deschanel) run the storage facility that they inherited from their father. When Rugged tries to force his way into the Lagrand family business, things go terribly wrong — and the situation gets even more complicated when an emotionally unstable cop (Michael Rapaport) begins investigating.

“The Hawk is Dying” stars Academy Award® nominee Paul Giamatti (”Sideways”) as a Gainesville Florida auto upholsterer who attempts to transcend his mundane life by taming a wild, red-tailed hawk. He chases his passion while caring for his autistic nephew, played by Michael Pitt (”Last Days”) and becoming caught up in an abstract and uneasy relationship with a young psychology student played by Academy Award® nominee Michelle Williams (”Brokeback Mountain”). “The Hawk is Dying” is Julian Goldberger’s second feature film following “Trans,” his critically successful feature debut. “Hawk” was selected in competition in both the Sundance Film Festival and Director’s Fortnight in Cannes 2006.

When rival figure skaters Chazz Michael Michaels (Will Ferrell) and Jimmy MacElroy (Jon Heder) go ballistic in an embarrassing, no-holds-barred fight at the World Championships, they are stripped of their gold medals and banned from the sport for life. Now, three-and-a-half years on, they’ve found a loophole that will allow them to compete: if they can put aside their differences, they can skate together – in pairs’ figure skating.

Jacob Petersen (Mads Mikkelsen) has dedicated his life to helping street children in India. When the orphanage he heads is threatened by closure, he receives an unusual offer. A Danish businessman, Jørgen, offers him a donation of $4 million dollars. There are, however, certain conditions… Not only must Jacob return to Denmark, he must also take part in the wedding of Jørgen’s daughter. The wedding proves to be a critical juncture between past and future and catapults Jacob into the most intense dilemma of his life.

“Carmen,” perhaps the world’s best-loved opera, with its story of love, jealousy, revenge and madness, is set in a sprawling South African shantytown, and sung in Xhosa! George Bizet’s 19th century spectacle is re-imagined in a naturalistic world of pool halls, bars, courtyards and barracks. The seductive, boisterous Carmen (who works in a cigarette factory), is sung with tremendous charisma by Pauline Malefane. When she sets her sights on a Bible-reading policeman, he doesn’t stand a chance. Rarely has an opera been made more modern, relevant or vibrant than in this stunning interpretation, featuring Dimpho Di Kopane(DDK), the internationally acclaimed South African theater company.

After the defeat of their old arch nemesis, The Shredder, the Turtles have grown apart as a family. Struggling to keep them together, their rat sensei, Master Splinter, becomes worried when strange things begin to brew in New York City. Tech-industrialist Max Winters is amassing an army of ancient monsters to apparently take over the world. And only one super-ninja fighting team can stop them—those heroes in a half shell—Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello and Raphael! With the help of old allies April O’Neil and Casey Jones, the Turtles are in for the fight of their lives as they once again must face the mysterious Foot Clan, who have put their own ninja skills behind Winters’ endeavors. Making this new incarnation of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles truly cutting-edge, the film will be created entirely with state-of-the-art CG animation, giving them a completely new look for the 21st century.

“Shooter” is an action-packed thriller starring Mark Wahlberg as Bob Lee Swagger, a former Army sniper who leaves the military after a mission goes bad. After he is reluctantly pressed back into service, Swagger is double-crossed again. With two bullets in him and the subject of a nationwide manhunt, Swagger begins his revenge, which will take down the most powerful people in the country. Antoine Fuqua (”Training Day”) directs.

In Columbia Pictures’ new drama “Reign Over Me,” two former college roommates Charlie Fineman (Adam Sandler) and Alan Johnson (Don Cheadle) run into each other years later and rekindle their friendship. Charlie, who recently lost his wife and children, has retreated from his life, while Alan is overwhelmed by his family and professional responsibilities. Their chance meeting becomes a lifeline for Charlie and Alan, both of whom are in need of a trusted friend at this pivotal moment in their lives. “Reign Over Me” was written and directed by Mike Binder (”The Upside of Anger”).

Baghdad, September 2003: In a middle class house on a quiet street, a family is fast asleep. Without warning, the front door is crashed and American soldiers storm the house looking for weapons and bomb-making material. Cameraman Michael Tucker documents the event as the men in the house are cuffed and forced to kneel in the garden. A search of the house uncovers no incriminating evidence, however Yunis Khatayer Abbas and three of his brothers are taken and detained. Bent on forcing Yunis to confess to crimes he did not commit, his captors press him with bizarre questions about music tastes, sexual preferences and Harrison Ford. His intelligence value exhausted, he is then transferred to Abu Ghraib Prison. The charge: Planning the Assassination of Tony Blair.

Among thousands suffering from food shortages, riots and insurgent attacks, Yunis endures by helping his fellow prisoners and keeping a secret diary. He also forges an unlikely friendship with one of his guards, who he calls “The Good Soldier”.

Based on the true story of inner city Philadelphia swim coach Jim Ellis. The story revolves around Ellis’ fight to build a swim team in one of Philly’s toughest neighborhoods in the 1970s. Ultimately, Ellis leads the swimmers to the state championships.

A small-town butcher’s daughter, Mélanie, aged about ten, seems to have a special gift for the piano. She takes the Conservatory entrance exam, but fails after being distracted by the thoughtless behaviour of the chairwoman of the jury, a well known concert pianist. Bitterly disappointed, Mélanie gives up the piano. Some ten years later, while working as an intern with a law firm, Mélanie meets Monsieur Fouchécourt, the husband of the woman who changed her life without a doubt. Mélanie’s efficiency and devotion are quickly noticed and Monsieur Fouchécourt recruits her into his home to look after his son. Madame Fouchécourt soon warms to Mélanie when her musical sensitivity comes out, and the young woman becomes her page turner…

Six Iranian girls disguise themselves as boys in order to enter Tehran’s Azadi Stadium to watch the 2006 World Cup Asian zone qualifier between Iran and Bahrain. However, their presence is discovered and they are arrested one by one.

While lecturing in Brazil, Dr. Taylor Briggs, an authority on memory diseases is asked to consult on a patient found at the headwaters of the Amazon. During the examination, Taylor is accidentally exposed to a mysterious substance which unlocks a series of genetically stored memories inside his brain; memories that are not his, but may be glimpses into the life of a nefarious killer: a killer who has been committing nefarious tasks for over three decades.

Based on the acclaimed sci-fi short story by Lewis Padgett, “The Last Mimzy” tells the story of two children who discover a mysterious box that contains some strange devices they think are toys. As the children play with these “toys,” they begin to display higher and higher intelligence levels. Their teacher tells their parents that they seem to have grown beyond genius. Their parents, too, realize something extraordinary is happening. Emma, the younger of the two, tells her confused mother that one of the toys, a beat-up stuffed toy rabbit, is named Mimzy and that “she teaches me things.”

As Emma’s mom becomes increasingly concerned, a blackout shuts down the city and the government traces the source of the power surge to Emma’s family’s house. Things quickly spin wildly out of their control. The children are focused on these strange objects, Mimzy, and the important mission on which they seem to have been sent. When the little girl says that Mimzy contains a most serious message from the future, a scientific scan shows that Mimzy is part extremely high level electronic, and part organic! Everyone realizes that they are involved in something incredible…but exactly what?

Inspired by the true stories of Vietnamese refugees who fled Vietnam after the fall of Saigon, and those who were forced to stay behind, “Journey From the Fall” follows one family’s struggle for freedom.

April 30, 1975 marked the end of Vietnam’s two-decades-old civil war and the start of an exodus of millions of refugees who became known internationally as the boat people. But because of his allegiance to the toppled South Vietnamese government, Long Nguyen (as Long Nguyen) decides to remain in Vietnam. Captured and imprisoned in a Communist re-education camp, he urges his family to make the escape by boat without him. His wife Mai (Diem Lien), son Lai (Nguyen Thai Nguyen) and mother Ba Noi (Kieu Chinh) join the ranks of the boat people and embark on an arduous ocean voyage in the hope of reaching the U.S. and freedom. Back in Vietnam, Long suffers years of solitary confinement and hard labor, and finally despairs that his family has perished. But news of their successful resettlement in America inspires him to make one last desperate attempt to join them.

The sequel to the 2006 horror re-make, “The Hills Have Eyes,” which grossed over $41 million at the domestic box office, is written by horror legend Wes Craven and Jonathan Craven and will be directed by Martin Weisz. The storyline follows a group of young National Guard trainees who are attacked by mutants during a training mission in the New Mexico desert.

Wound tight and cocky, Jimmy Starks (Guy Pearce) is a smooth-talking salesman certain he’s on the verge of a big break. Even when his car stalls in the middle of nowhere, a roadside soothsayer (J.K. Simmons) assures him a windfall is on its way. But although Jimmy should be happy when his boss suddenly agrees to financially back his business venture, he starts to become paranoid instead.

As his girlfriend Deirdre (Piper Perabo) and his best friend/ business partner Ed (William Fichtner) watch him slowly come unwound, Jimmy wonders if a past betrayal of his friend, newly paroled Vince (Shea Whigham), could be catching up to him. And, as the weather turns cold, Jimmy can’t help but fear the mysterious seer’s other prediction… that they’ll be no tomorrow after the first snow.

For months Alan Conway, a perfect stranger, passed himself off as one of the greatest film directors of all time, Stanley Kubrick.

Conway knew nothing of the filmmaker or his films, but this didn’t prevent him from using and abusing the credulity of those who thought they had come in contact with the mythical and equally discreet director. His success was founded not only on boundless chutzpah but also on the fact that Kubrick’s real face and voice were practically unknown since - like Terence Malick and Chris Marker - he remained one of filmdom’s few stubborn holdouts in the Fame Game.

A battle of naked ambition played out on the national and, ultimately, world stage, “Air Guitar Nation” chronicles the birth of the US Air Guitar Championships as legions of aspiring rock stars live out their dreams on a quest to become the world champion in a strange world where musical ability plays second fiddle to virtual virtuosity. As the film un-reels, two aspiring rock legends strum and strut their way towards glory and the coveted national title. C. Diddy (David Jung), a samurai warrior clad in a “Hello Kitty” breast plate and red kimono, emerges as an early favorite. But his arch nemesis from the Lower East Side, Björn Türoque (Dan Crane), is not far behind. While C. Diddy threatens to unleash his self-professed “Asian Fury” on his competitors, Björn vows to take Diddy down. As the film reaches its climax, the future of Air hangs in the balance; will Björn’s technical prowess, stage presence, and be enough to take him to the top, or will C. Diddy conquer all to become America’s first supreme being of Air-Guitar?

Ireland 1920: workers from field and country unite to form volunteer guerrilla armies to face the ruthless “Black and Tan” squads that are being shipped from Britain to block Ireland’s bid for independence.

Driven by a deep sense of duty and a love for his country, Damien abandons his burgeoning career as a doctor and joins his brother, Teddy, in a dangerous and violent fight for freedom.

As the freedom fighters’ bold tactics bring the British to breaking point, both sides finally agree to a treaty to end the bloodshed. However, despite the apparent victory civil war erupts and families who fought side by side find themselves pitted against one another as sworn enemies, putting their loyalties to the ultimate test.

Falfurrias New Mexico is a tightly-knit community revolving around church, family, and fresh Mexican food – and not necessarily in that order. Isidor’s Tortilla Heaven is the best restaurant in town, maybe even the world. But though his tortillas are scrumptious, his enchiladas divine, Isidor has never made a dime. Why? Falfurrias only has a population of 73. One Sunday, upon one of his famous, hand-made tortillas the face of Jesus Christ appears. It’s a miracle that threatens to turn this sleepy community upside down.

Linda Hanson (Sandra Bullock) has a beautiful house, a loving husband and two adorable daughters. Her life is perfect, until the day she receives the devastating news that her husband Jim (Julian McMahon) has died in a car accident. When she wakes up the next morning to find him alive and well, she assumes it was all a dream, but is shaken by how vivid it felt. She soon realizes it wasn’t a dream, and her world is turned upside down as the surreal circumstances lead her to discover that her perfect life may not have been all that it appeared. Desperate to save her family, Linda begins a furious race against time and fate to try and preserve everything that she and Jim have built together.

“Nomad: The Warrior” is set in 18th-century Kazakhstan, a vast, pitiless region of austere and terrible beauty, and tells the story of a boy who is destined to one day unite the three warring tribes of the country who have survived and fought for centuries - against invaders, against their formidable enemies and amongst themselves.

“Nomad: The Warrior” is Kazakhstan’s official entry, Best Foreign Language Film for the 79th Academy Awards®.

“I Think I Love My Wife,” written, directed by and starring Chris Rock, is a sophisticated comedy about marriage and the lure of a new love. Nikki (Kerry Washington) is the exciting free spirit who makes Richard’s (Chris Rock) daydreams come true while Richard’s wife Brenda (Gina Torres) is so preoccupied with her own career and raising their two children that she has little time for her husband.

From the team responsible for the international sleeper hit “Saw”–writer/actor Leigh Whannell, writer/director James Wan and producers Gregg Hoffman, Mark Burg and Oren Koules–comes the supernatural thriller “Dead Silence.”

Newlyweds Jamie (Kwanten) and Lisa Ashen have established a new life for themselves far from their hometown of Ravens Fair–a sleepy, near-forgotten blip on the map haunted by late-night whispers and ghost stories from generations past. But when his wife is gruesomely murdered, Jamie reluctantly returns to Ravens Fair for the funeral, intent on unraveling the mystery surrounding her death.

Once back under his family’s roof, reunited with his ill father (Gunton) and his father’s new young bride (Valletta), Jamie begins to explore the creepy town and encounters the legend of Mary Shaw, a famous murdered ventriloquist whose presence still casts a pall over Ravens Fair. Himself the lead suspect in his wife’s murder, Jamie is forced to dig deep into the town’s bloody past for answers, where he soon uncovers the truth behind the curse that ended Lisa’s life…and threatens to take his as well

“Dead Silence” is written by Leigh Whannell & James Wan and directed by James Wan. It stars Ryan Kwanten, Amber Valletta, Donnie Wahlberg and Bob Gunton and is produced by Gregg Hoffman, Mark Burg and Oren Koules.

A neurotic young commitment-phobe runs into his ex-girlfriend while he’s whacked out on killer dope; a high strung control freak finds out that her husband-to-be is a transvestite; a hyper-possessive boyfriend discovers that his girlfriend is an ex-porn actress; and the manager’s boyfriend has a ménage a trois which he says is forgivable because the girls were identical twins.

“Caffeine” is an eccentric comedy about these characters’ hapless attempts to repair their fractured relationships as they confront issues of fidelity, betrayal, forgiveness, and commitment. Du ring one lunchtime at this offbeat London coffee house, the relationships of the quirky staff and several couples are suddenly turned upside down by the sudden revelations of supremely embarrassing secrets and idiosyncrasies, generally having to do with their rampaging sexual appetites.

The next great psycho horror slasher has given a documentary crew exclusive access to his life as he plans his reign of terror over the sleepy town of Glen Echo, all the while deconstructing the conventions and archetypes of the horror genre for them.

As the title suggests, “American Cannibal” takes the reality television craze to the next provocative level as Dave Roberts and Gil S. Ripley desperately try to get their break on the small screen. The two out of work television writers are hired by the publicity-obsessed promoter Kevin Blatt, the force behind the notorious Paris Hilton sex tape, to create a brutal all-or-nothing reality television show “where survival is just the beginning.” Soon, all involved with the production realize that their lust for success is eating at them literally and figuratively.

“American Cannibal” chronicles the journey from a high-concept pitch to its train-wreck production. The entire behind-the-scenes process was documented by the affable duo up to the controversial conclusion when a contestant was critically injured, forcing the production to shut down.

Featuring exclusive on-set access and interviews with industry insiders such as New York Post’s Linda Stasi and The Daily Show’s Lizz Winstead, as well as a number of reality-TV veterans such as Trishelle Cannatella, “American Cannibal” draws upon our reality and celebrity-obsessed culture to create a hybrid style of storytelling that resonates as both fresh and true. The film blurs the line between fact and fiction and leaves the viewer grappling with the gray area in between to create a style of storytelling never before seen in American cinema.

A neo-nazi sentenced to community service at a church clashes with the blindly devotional priest.

When his wealthy grandfather dies, trust fund baby Jason Stevens anticipates a big inheritance. Instead, his grandfather has devised a crash course on life: twelve gifts designed to challenge Jason in improbable ways, sending him on a journey of self-discovery and forcing him to determine what is most important in life: money or happiness.

When the the Ganguli family moves from Calcutta to New York, they embark upon a lifelong balancing act to meld into a new world without forgetting the old. Though parents Ashoke and Ashima long for the family and culture that enveloped them in India, they take great pride in the opportunities their sacrifices have afforded their children. Paradoxically, their son Gogol is torn between finding his own unique identity without losing his heritage. Even Gogol’s name represents the family’s journey into the unknown.

When Hurricane Katrina ravaged America’s Gulf Coast, it laid bare an uncomfortable reality-America is not only far from the world’s wealthiest nation; it is crumbling beneath a staggering burden of individual and government debt. “Maxed Out” takes us on a journey deep inside the American debt-style, where everything seems okay as long as the minimum monthly payment arrives on time. Sure, most of us may have that sinking feeling that something isn’t quite right, but we’re told not to worry. After all, there’s always more credit! “Maxed Out” shows how the modern financial industry really works, explains the true definition of “preferred customer” and tells us why the poor are getting poorer and the rich getting richer. By turns hilarious and profoundly disturbing, “Maxed Out” paints a picture of a national nightmare which is all too real for most of us.

The talk of the 2006 Cannes International Film Festival, “The Host,” the latest film from critically acclaimed visionary director Bong Joon-ho, has already garnered a substantial amount of international buzz. Utilizing state-of-the-art special effects courtesy of a creative partnership between Weta Workshop (”King Kong,” “The Lord of the Rings”) and The Orphanage (”Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire,” “Sin City”), “The Host” is equal parts creature-feature thrill ride and poignant human drama.

Gang-du (Song Kang-ho) works at a food-stand on the banks of the Han River. Dozing on the job, he is awakened by his daughter, Hyun-seo ( Ah-sung Ko), who is angry with him for missing a teacher-parent meeting at school. As Gang-du walks out to the riverbank with a delivery, he notices that a large crowd of people has gathered, taking pictures and talking about something hanging from the Han River Bridge. The otherwise idyllic landscape turns suddenly to bedlam when a terrifying creature climbs up onto the riverbank and begins to crush and eat people. Gang-du and his daughter run for their lives but suddenly the thing grabs Hyun-seo and disappears back into the river. The government announces that the thing apparently is the Host of an unidentified virus. Having feared the worst, Gang-du receives a phone call from his daughter who is frightened, but very much alive. Gang-du makes plans to infiltrate the forbidden zone near the Han River to rescue his daughter from the clutches of the horrifying Host…

Joe Connor (Hugh Dancy), charismatic and idealistic, is a young man taking a year out. While his friends are backpacking around India or lying on a beach in Thailand, Joe has chosen a “real” experience - teaching in a Rwandan school. He is looking forward to stunning his mates with tales of adventure and life at the sharp end. His enthusiasm for Africa makes him popular with the pupils. To Francois, the school groundsman, Joe is a real friend.

The school is headed by Father Christopher (John Hurt) an English Roman Catholic priest. Christopher has spent nearly all his working life in Africa. The cycles of violence that he has witnessed over the years, throughout the continent, have made the struggle to keep his faith alive increasingly hard. Now he is wearier than ever, fearing for Rwanda as it sinks deeper and deeper into a mire of ethnic hatred and political corruption.

Every evening Joe is on the running track coaching Marie (Claire-Hope Ashitey), a young Tutsi girl. She is an exceptional talent and Joe sees her as a shining example of a brighter future. But in the Rwanda of April 1994 ethnic tension between Tutsis and Hutus erupts into genocide. Joe’s world is turned upside down.

The killing escalates through the city and the school becomes a refuge for Europeans and Tutsis. A contingent of Belgian UN soldiers, led by Capitaine Delon (Dominique Horwitz), has been stationed there to monitor the fragile peace accord but, now, as the extremist Hutu government vows to eliminate all Tutsis, the refugees wonder if the UN will really protect them from the machete-wielding Hutu militias who slowly start to surround the school.

Joe burns with a desire to “do” something, which puts him at odds with Christopher, who has become more and more hardened - Africa, he believes, is beyond hope. Joe promises a distraught Marie that she will be safe - that he will make sure the world outside doesn’t desert them. He ventures out into Kigali to pick up a television crew to bring back and publicise their plight. But things turn ugly at a roadblock. Joe and the crew are held at gunpoint by drunken militia and he discovers, to his horror, that one of the thugs is Francois, his friend, with a blood-stained machete in his hand.

The killing gets closer and closer to the school but with a weak UN mandate Capitaine Delon can do nothing to stop it. The European refugees are evacuated by French troops. The Rwandans are left behind, their hope draining away. Their worst fears are realised when the UN troops are ordered to pull out and abandon the Rwandans: Joe is told he must leave too - or face certain death. Terrified, he clambers aboard a UN truck, aware that he has betrayed his promise to Marie. Joe waits on the UN truck for Christopher but is astonished to discover that he has decided to remain behind with the Rwandans - a people he has grown to love.

After the UN convoy pulls away Christopher makes one final desperate attempt to save the handful of children he can squeeze into the back of the last vehicle remaining. Marie’s father Roland pushes her forward - her face is numb with fear and confusion for she knows she will never see her father again. But the truck is stopped at a Hutu roadblock. Machetes glint in the firelight and whilst Christopher tries to distract the soldiers, Marie slips silently out of the truck and starts to run, faster and faster, deeper and deeper into the African bush…

A basketball coach moves to Oklahoma, expecting to coach the boys’ basketball team, but instead ends up coaching the girls’ team, developing a rapport with the team and developing them into a strong team in a sport that never supported women players before.

Based on the epic graphic novel by Frank Miller, “300″ is a ferocious retelling of the ancient Battle of Thermopylae in which King Leonidas (Gerard Butler) and 300 Spartans fought to the death against Xerxes and his massive Persian army. Facing insurmountable odds, their valor and sacrifice inspire all of Greece to unite against their Persian enemy, drawing a line in the sand for democracy. The film brings Miller’s (Sin City) acclaimed graphic novel to life by combining live action with virtual backgrounds that capture his distinct vision of this ancient historic tale.

Francois (Frédéric Van Den Driessche) is a filmmaker holding auditions for his upcoming film about female sexuality. He expects the process to be unconventional but cannot predict the dangers of such an overtly charged endeavor. As his female cast embarks on a journey of intense physical pleasure-seeking they become emotionally involved with the director and with each other. Francois tries to remain focused on the project at hand, but the film begins to unravel as his cast struggles to separate art from life, business from pleasure.

Based on the actual case files of one of the most intriguing unsolved crimes in the nation’s history, “Zodiac” is a thriller from David Fincher, director of “Seven” and “Fight Club.” As a serial killer terrifies the San Francisco Bay Area and taunts police with his ciphers and letters, investigators in four jurisdictions search for the murderer. The case will become an obsession for four men as their lives and careers are built and destroyed by the endless trail of clues.

Tim Allen, John Travolta, Martin Lawrence and William H. Macy hit the road in this rollicking comedy-adventure about a group of middle-aged friends who decide to rev up their routine suburban lives with a freewheeling motorcycle trip. Taking a long dreamed-of breather from their stressful jobs and family responsibilities, they can’t wait to feel the freedom of the open road.

When this mis-matched foursome, who have grown far more used to the couch than the saddle, set out for this once-in-a-lifetime experience - they encounter a world that holds far more than